I came across the phrase “May-December Romance” whilst TV Troping (in case you don’t know, it refers to the significant age difference between two people in a relationship). And then I started thinking about it. See, in the song it came from, “September Song”, the month of December is supposed to symbolize the end of your life.
The average life span in the US is, according to Google, ~78.4 years. Divide that by 12 and you get ~6.5. So that shows each month is worth six and a half years. Since I don’t like dealing with weird numbers, we’ll round that up to seven.
January: 0- 7 years
February: 8- 14 years
March: 15- 21 years (this is where, apparently, things get weird. Awesome.)
April: 22- 28 years
May: 29- 36 years
June: 37- 42 years
July: 43- 49 years
August: 50- 56 years
September: 57-63 years
October: 64- 70 years
November: 71- 77 years
December: 78+
Why am I overanalyzing this? Boredom.
